Before you say I do

How to host a successful event

Having a party seems like one of the easiest things you could do.

But to think that would be wrong.

Too often I am hearing that an event didn’t go to plan. The guests didn’t do this or they didn’t do that. There is one big difference between just hosting a party and a hosting successful party. This is based on one tiny factor that plays an enormous role that hosts forget all too often. The most important tool hosts need to know is that…

YOU teach your guests how to behave!

A lot of the time, it isn’t the guests acting out or not mingling or not dancing for a reason but rather may be a result of poor layout or structure. If you think about your plans from a guests point of view, perhaps your choices may change!

These two questions and your answers to them will be the secret you have been looking for… what are you expecting from your party & what is the message you are sending your guests — and are your answers the same?

What behaviours are you expecting from guests? What would you like to see them doing during the night? Would you be happy with them all sitting at their tables talking to the person next to them and walking around outside or are you wanting them to be meeting new people, chatting and dancing?

Whatever your answers are to the above questions should be equal to the message you send your guests as soon as they arrive to your party. Because how you set out your party, how you place your tables, what food or drinks you provide, how much space you allow and what entertainment you provide ALL contributes to how they will or will not behave.

LAYOUT: Where do they enter and what is the first message you are sending them? This will be the most significant factor which will show your guests what you are expecting of them for the remainder of your party or wedding and most of the time, they will do exactly that! For example, if the guests walk in to an enormous reception venue, that tells them, go ahead cling to the walls for the evening, chatting to the one person you know here. Or if there are tables and chairs everywhere they look, that says, here sit down and don’t get up because I don’t have the space to let you mingle, or dance, or move seats; just get comfy and stay there for the night. If you are okay with allowing your guests to sit in the one place or stand in small groups not utilising the space, then you have planned things correctly. However, if you expect conversations, dancing and a communal, joyful atmosphere then you need to change your layout to allow your guests to fulfil your goals for your party. Limit the space they can have to move outwards, don’t fill the space with tables and chairs, put on music that is going to lighten the mood, be chatting to your guests and introduce them to one another, have games or entertainment they can enjoy together.. bring them in, together!

STRUCTURE: If your guests are coming to your party knowing no one or just one other person, they are going to be looking at the clock, waiting for the cutting of the cake to bail. How can you organise the running of the event to make it enjoyable for EVERYone? Have games on the table for guests to play while sitting around, have lawn bowls or botchi to play during the break between ceremony and reception! Introduce individuals to others you think they may get along with, have icebreakers planned for backyard parties to get guests talking and introducing themselves. Guests are waiting on someone else to start the ball moving and like it or not, that is you! Do you want your guests to dance.. turn off the air guitar music. Where are you?! Are you behaving in ways you want to see your guests behaving? Are you sitting sulking inside or are you out their starting the congo line? Is there sufficient light, is there seats for them to sit, are they out of the blazing sun, is there food? Is the food still being cooked, just let your guests know. Have you told them where food, drink and toilets are? Have signs if you’re not prepared to make the announcement. We need to be mindful of our guests and how comfortable they can be so they can enjoy the party, and we need to give them instructions on how to behave if we want to see it happening and little kids not running through the house with their shoes on! Offering information is always the success of rules being followed.

99% of the time, I have clients looking to create an event where their guests come together in a celebration, being joyful about the occasion, conversing, eating and drinking together. That’s really what we have celebrations for! So if you consider what your ambitions are for the event, and then allow for conducive opportunities in your layout and structure for this to happen, then it most probably will. But if you have these desires for your guests and don’t understand your role in creating an atmosphere for these experiences to happen, then they probably won’t.

Save yourself the heartache of being discouraged by your guests behaviour by understanding that essentially it is your choices for the event that facilitate the end result and the experiences of all.